


Blind to You

by razor_rosary



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Abuse Mentions, Alternate Universe - Future, Blind Gerard, M/M, Revenge Era Frank Iero, Revenge Era Gerard Way, danger days era mikey way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-10 23:33:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7012822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/razor_rosary/pseuds/razor_rosary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The year is 3009, and Gerard Way is blind. There are mentions of new contact lenses allowing blind people to see, but no news has been released recently. Gerard is getting a new helper named Frank Iero, and he is determined to not get terribly attached to Frank.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How 'Bout a Shot of Truth in that Denial Cocktail

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! here's my first fic, hope you enjoy. tw: abuse mentions (very vague) This first chapter is very short, it's more like an introduction, but i'll try to make them longer after this.  
> tumblr: alienthusiast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS A RE-UPLOAD!! THIS WORK HAS BEEN EDITED!!!!!  
> chapter title is a quote from Jennifer Salaiz

Gerard had always wondered what people looked like.  
He had never seen his face, or his parent’s faces, or Mikey’s. Supposedly, the Medical Inventors were trying to work on a pair of expertly engineered contact lenses that would allow the blind to see, but no information had been released for awhile. Gerard still had a little bit of lingering excitement from that, but it was mixed in with nervousness. He was getting a new helper today.  
Gerard had had four helpers before this one. The first, Lindsey, had moved out of Jersey (Gerard could never remember where she went). She had been really nice, with a great sense of humor. Good-bye had been hard.  
The second and third had both been kicked out for the same reason. Both Bert and Bob had gotten incredibly frustrated with Gerard and had physically abused him; hitting, jerking him around, Bob even punched him once.  
His previous helper, a guy named Matt, just hadn’t clicked with him. It took a year for them to overcome their embarrassment and tell each other, but they realized they had been thinking the same thing when they did. It wasn’t that they had different political views, or that they fought a lot, it was just that they were the wrong people for each other. And that was that.  
Gerard would have asked Mikey, or his parents, but Mikey had school and his parents were both working hard to pay for Mikey’s school, themselves, and Gerard’s helper. It made Gerard feel guilty that his blindness took so much money even though he couldn’t help it. He was born with it and would probably die with it, knowing his luck.  
This was the fifth helper. Maybe. This was maybe the fifth helper. They were going to talk to him today, and if he and Gerard got along well, then he would move into Gerard’s house so he could help him with things around the house.  
Gerard new a little bit about him. His name was Frank Iero, and he was 25, 4 years younger than Gerard. He was unemployed, due to his many tattoos, which Gerard had been told were “permanent pictures on your skin.” It gave him a strange image. Gerard’s mom had talked to him on the phone, established that he was a lovely young man, and arranged for him to come over and meet Gerard to see if they got along well. He had 3 hours before they met.

***  
Getting new helpers had always been nerve-racking for Gerard, especially since the sugar-coated first impression that Bob and Bert had given at the meeting. He tried to distract himself with thoughts of something, anything else: music, books, the possibility of the new contact lenses. No matter how hard he tried though, his thoughts always wound up on the meeting that would take place at one o’clock. What if Frank got annoyed by his disability? What if he turned out like Bob and Bert? All the nervous thoughts almost left Gerard in tears, but the fact that his mother and Mikey were both there comforted him. 1 hour to go.  
***  
With just 20 minutes left, Gerard was a nervous reck. He was frantically tapping his fingers on his knee, hyperventilating.  
“Honey, just calmed down, ok? Everything is going to be just fine!” his mother reassured him, coming to sit beside him on the sofa. “I’ve talked with Frank twice now; he’s a very kind young man.”  
That’s what you thought about Bob and Bert, Gerard wanted to say. Instead he just nodded.  
***  
Frank Iero arrived 3 minutes and 14 seconds before 1:00. Gerard froze in his seat as Donna went to open the door.  
“Frank! It’s so lovely to meet you!” she practically squealed with excitement before inviting him to sit down. He thanked her and Gerard heard him sit down in the chair across from him.  
“Hey, Gerard.” Frank said. His voice was gentle, but not pitying. Gerard liked that.  
“Hello.” Gerard murmured. His voice shook slightly, but he was already calming down. After graciously accepting a glass of orange juice from Donna, Frank introduced himself and shook hands with Gerard and Mikey.  
This meeting was...different from all his others. They talked about music and books, but mostly music. Frank liked the same stuff that Gerard and Mikey did, and Gerard soon forgot his nervousness all together. It felt just like a nice conversation with a frie- no. No, Gerard refused to let himself think that, not just out of caution with Bert and Bob, but also because he wasn’t supposed to be Frank’s friend. He was supposed to be his job. That’s what Gerard told himself. He was really thinking about Lindsey. Lindsey had been his best friend, besides Mikey. And she had left. It took a long time for Gerard to start looking for a new helper after the sadness that she left him in.  
No, he could not be friends with Frank. Sure, he would be plenty nice to him, but he wouldn’t let him in. Even as he told himself this though, he knew that it probably wouldn’t work. He liked Frank, he wanted to be friends with him already. He doubted he could stop it for long.  
But he could sure as hell try.

 

Frank moved in three days later, after filling out some paperwork and getting all his stuff packed. Since he had previously lived in a fairly small apartment, he didn’t have much; just some clothes, bathroom stuff and all his music supplies. In fact, all his music shit took up more room than anything else he had.  
Fortunately, it was a fair-sized house, so even with the two men living in it, it wasn’t crowded. Just comfortable.  
Over the next couple of weeks, Frank and Gerard got to know eachother more and more. Frank, for the most part, figured out the dos and don’ts when it came to helping out Gerard, and Gerard easily communicated about anything he felt uncomfortable with. Unfortunately, there was a lot.  
It scared him when Frank touched him suddenly, or accidentally held his arm too hard. He got nervous when Frank laughed too loudly, or if Gerard felt him staring at him. Anxiety hit him like a brick if he called his helpers name and didn’t get an immediate answer. All of this brought painful memories of the shit that Bob and Bert put him through before he got the courage to open up to Mikey and Donna. It made the scars they had left him with tingle, the names they yelled at him a mantra in his head.  
However, Frank always managed to calm him down quickly and easily. His gentle, soothing voice, his soft and comforting touches, all of it made Gerard like him more and more each day.  
And that scared the fuck out of him.  
He wanted to be Frank’s friend, but he was scared too. His abusers had both been so nice before they hit him. While he didn’t expect his new helper to do that, it wasn’t like he thought Bob and Bert would either. He was scared to make friends because two of the few that he’d had turned into monsters.  
***  
Frank read to Gerard almost every night, and made him coffee every morning. Some days, they stayed in, sometimes they went out to shops or cafes, or just for walks around the neighborhood.  
About a month after Frank moved in, they were sitting at a starbucks near the house when Gerard heard a voice-a very familiar voice call his name.  
“Gerard!!”  
He whipped his head towards the sound, a grin spreading across his face. It had been years since he heard that voice.  
“Lindsey!” he called back, carefully getting up from the chair. Within seconds, they were hugging eachother tightly, crying and laughing and grinning, oblivious to the confused faces watching them.  
“What are you doing here? I thought you moved away!”  
“Oh, I just came here to visit my parents. I’m heading back to California tomorrow.” she said sitting at the table with them. “Who’s this?” she asked, noticing Frank.  
“Oh, this is my new helper, Frank!” Gerard said happily.  
Lindsey and Frank clicked immediately, talking about music and tattoos while Gerard listened contentedly, drinking his coffee. Before he knew it though, Lindsey had to go.  
“Awww, can’t you stay to have supper with us?” Gerard asked.  
“Sorry Gee, but I gotta pack up. My flight’s at four a.m.; I need some sleep.  
“Okay.” Gerard said sadly. They said their goodbyes, a hug from Gerard and a handshake from Frank. Then she was gone.  
***  
Gerard was on cloud 9 for the rest of the week. Seeing Lindsey (kind of) had brightened what little life he had, and it rubbed off on anyone who saw him. Then, at the end of the week, sadness overtook him.  
What if he never saw Lindsey again? What if she stopped caring about him all together? What if-what if she forgot him? All these thoughts brought him crashing down, and brought Frank to complete confusion.  
“Gee...what’s up?” he asked one night. Gerard just shook his head.  
“What if she forgets me?”  
“Who? Lindsey?” Gerard nodded sadly, tears welling in his eyes.  
“Gee-Gee she’s not gonna forget you. You have no idea how happy she looked when she saw you.” Frank said gently. Then, much to Gerard’s surprise, Frank hugged him tentatively. And Gerard just…  
Snapped.  
He was sobbing, leaning into Frank, and yelling.  
“I h-hate this!! I hate being blind, I hate how p-p-people think they can take advantage of me. I hate how they s-seem n-nice, and then hurt me just because I can’t see! I want t-to see! I want to see M-mikey, my m-mom. I want see Lindsey, I want to see myself, I want to see-” he paused, realizing he was about to ruin his whole plan of not making friends, then realizing he didn’t give a fuck. “-you. I want to see you, Frank. What do you look like?” Gerard said, barely a whisper.  
Frank’s arms, still gently cradling Gerard, were shaking slightly, and Gerard realized he was crying too. “Well, I-I have brown hair-dark brown-that’s long in the front and shaved and dyed red on the sides. My eyes are hazel, I have a fuckton of tattoos, and I’m really fuckin’ short.”  
The last part made Gerard laugh softly though his sniffles. He didn’t know what hazel looked like, but if-no, once the contacts came out, he would. He promised himself that, and told Frank as much.  
“Hey-Gee, can I ask you something?” Gerard nodded. “Umm...well you said that-that people hurt you because you couldn’t see. Who-who hurt you?”  
Gerard started trembling and whimpering softly. “Heey...hey you don’t have to tell me Gee. It’s okay; I was just wondering. I guess that was really insensitive of me. I’m sorry, Gee. I’m so sorry.”  
“It’s fine. I just don’t like talking about it.” Gerard said. The thing was though, he was really tempted to tell Frank. He wanted Frank to comfort him, to say that it was gonna be ok, that he would be fine. But he didn’t. He lost his chance. But, he told himself, it was a good thing. People only told that shit to their friends and their therapists. Frank was neither, Gerard’s head said. You fucking liar, Gerard’s heart said.

 

Gerard woke up in the middle of the night to the unmistakable sound of someone vomiting. Carefully getting out of bed, he called out Frank’s name and started walking as quickly as he could to the bathroom.  
“Gerard? It’s okay you can go back to-” he puked again before he could finish his sentence. After a few seconds of Frank’s heavy breathing, Gerard felt his eyes back on him and felt suddenly self conscious, realizing he was only wearing boxers and a too-small t-shirt.  
Slowly, Gerard moved forward (three steps, he had trained himself to remember) and knelt on the ground beside his sick helper. The stench from the toilet crept into his nose, but he ignored it and moved his hands up to Frank’s face to feel his forehead. It was hot as hell, and Gerard furrowed his brow in worry.  
“What is it?” Frank croaked.  
“Fever. Let’s get you back to bed, ok?” he helped Frank to his feet and started walking back to his bedroom. They stopped by the kitchen to pick up a bowl in case Frank got sick again.  
Gerard tucked Frank into bed and turned to leave before realizing he wasn’t sure where to go. Sure, it was his house, but this room was only reserved for helpers; he hardly came in here. He didn’t want to make Frank walk...fuck.  
“Gee?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I know it won’t be very comfortable, but there’s a recliner to the left-no, other left of the bed with a blanket on top.” Frank said apologetically. Gerard carefully felt around until he felt the chair. He got all set up, curled up under the blanket, and fell asleep.  
***  
Gerard woke up the next morning in the same very uncomfortable position he had been in all night. The only other noises in the room were Frank’s soft snores. As quietly as he could, Gerard stood up and felt his way over to the bed. After listening to Frank’s snores and establishing where his head was, he once again placed his hand against the sleeping man’s head. He was still burning up. ‘I should get him some water’ Gerard thought.  
Forgetting that he wasn’t in a familiar part of the house, he attempted to walk out of the room and instead walked right into a table. He swore loudly at the pain shooting through his leg, and heard Frank’s quiet, hoarse voice say his name. Startled, he whirled around all too fast, tripped, fell, and started to cry. Hurt, Humiliated. Unwanted tears spilled down his face and into to his hands.  
In an instant, Frank was by his side, petting his long black hair and whispering “Shhh shhh” over and over in his ear. Gerard didn’t even care about his anti-friend resolution any more. He started calming down, only a few more choked sobs escaping his mouth.  
“Where were you going?” Frank asked gently.  
“I just wanted to get you some water. You still have a fever.” Gerard replied, feeling embarrassed now.  
“Gee...you didn’t have to do that, you know.”  
“But you-you’re my- you’remyfriend.” Gerard said all in a rush, blood rising to his face. There’s a long silence and Gerard just knows that he made Frank angry. And then...a pair of arms is wrapped around him, and a head is buried in his shoulder. It actually takes a minute to register in his mind. Frank isn’t Mad. But what if he’s...faking? What if he’s just being nice to calm me down? That’s it. This all just show; this guy fuckin’ Hates me. Well… maybe I should ask...just to make sure.  
“Frank...are you mad at me?”  
“Why would I be mad at you?!” Frank asked incredulously, pulling away from the embrace.  
“Why wouldn’t you be? I’m whiny, needy, useless-” he paused for a second before adding-”blind.”  
“Why wouldn’t I be? Because you’re nice, smart, helpful, caring, beautiful-everything I ever wanted to be.” Gerard turned, if possible, even redder. Smart? Helpful? Beautiful?  
“You think I’m beautiful?”  
“Shit shit shit I didn’t mean to say that-I mean, I do think that you beautiful, I just-I kinda have crush on you and-fuck I’m sorry.”  
It wasn’t the smoothest confession Frank had ever made.  
Gerard tried to process it. He felt awful. He felt so bad. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Frank perfectly well, but in that way? He didn’t even know what the guy looked like!  
“I’m sorry Gee. I know you can’t see me but I just...couldn’t help it.”  
Gerard wanted to like Frank; he really did. But the obvious problem of not seeing him and what Bob and Bert did to him.  
***  
After Frank started to feel better from his fever, he and Gerard were sitting on the sofa listening to some old Bowie records when Gerard got the overwhelming urge to tell Frank everything.  
“It was two of my former helpers.”  
Immediately, Frank was all ears.  
“At first they were really nice. They seemed very understanding and shit, but I guess it was just an act. In the beginning, it was just verbal. Pretty quickly though, they started hitting me. Bob wasn’t as bad; it was easy to tell my parents about him. Bert though...Bert was so much worse. I never had a moment when he wasn’t right beside. He said he would k-kill me if I told anyone. I thought he was lying.” Gerard paused to take a breath before continuing. “One day he came into the living room with a knife. I started screaming, for help you know. He-he cut me. Well, I guess stabbed is more accurate. I don’t remember much, but he left me on the carpet. I woke up in the hospital. Mikey had found me that evening.”  
“What happened to Bert?” Frank asked softly. Gerard shrugged.  
“He ran. If he ever got caught I didn’t hear about it.” Frank nodded slightly, forgetting that Gerard couldn’t see him.  
“Gee…”  
“Gerard turned towards Frank, not realizing how close they were. “Yeah?” he asked, his heart flipping like a pancake in his chest. He could feel Frank’s breath on his face, and he could smell his sweet, perfect scent.  
“I-I’m so sorry.”  
Gerard turned away, blushing. “Yeah. You’re the only person that I’ve been fairly close to in at least three years because of Bert. Do you-do you promise you won’t do that to me?” Gerard voice shook as he asked, nervousness rising through him.  
“I promise.” Frank whispered.  
For a while they sat in the quiet until they both fell asleep on the couch. The only sound until the morning was the scratchy sound of the finished record from where it had been left on the turntable.

 

A week later, Gerard was thinking about kissing. He knew what his mom’s forehead kisses felt like, comfortingly familiar. He knew what lips felt like, and he had a pretty good idea of what they must look like (without color though, of course) but he didn’t know what another pair of lips would feel like on his own. He and Frank had been fairly close to kissing that night on the couch, with Bowie as the background soundtrack. Gerard wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He thought about it a lot. His heart and stomach had both definitely gone wild, but in a good or bad way, he wasn’t sure.  
He and Frank had been slightly more awkward around each other lately, but neither of them had the guts to talk about it yet. This was obviously a problem since they were hardly ever apart. Gerard blushed every time Frank touched him now. He was just coming to terms with the feeling that being “just friends” with Frank didn’t feel quite right as they walked down the street to their favorite cafe (it felt like like a goddamn date) when he tripped and fell. Frank did his best to catch him, but small as he was, he only pulled Gerard’s arm quite painfully.  
Gerard could practically feel the stares as he caught himself with the hand that Frank wasn’t holding, the eyes burning into him as his palm started to bleed from the concrete of the sidewalk. Tears pricked his eyes as Frank hauled him up and into a hug, but he fought them back, not letting any fall. Gerard didn’t even care that they were on a fucking sidewalk for everyone to see, even though he felt humiliated.  
Frank, panicky, asked Gerard if he was ok. Gerard nodded. He could not mislabel the feeling of excitement in his stomach this time when Frank hugged him. He let Frank keep his arm around him the whole way home. He let him clean off his bloody hand and wrap in in an ace bandage from the medicine cabinet. He let Frank make him coffee, sit on the sofa beside him. About five minutes later, he also let Frank take his bandaged hand in both of his. He leaned into his helper, gentle flutters running through his heart like swimming pool waves. He felt his hand being very gently lifted and very tentatively kissed, no less than eight times. He lifted his head slightly to look at Frank and smiled at him, blushing like mad before snuggling his head back into his helper’s shoulder.  
***  
The next day, Mikey visited their house with his boyfriend. He and Pete had been dating for just over two months, but Gerard hadn’t met him before. Well, until now. Pete greeted Gerard and Frank, who had made them all coffee, and Gerard heard him and Mikey sit on the loveseat together.  
After an hour and a half of happy conversation (long enough for Gee to establish that Mikey had chosen very well) they both hugged Gerard and left him alone with Frank. For the record though, he wasn’t complaining.  
They sat on the couch together, just listening to each other breathe. Almost seven minutes pass before Frank starts to talk.  
“So, um...I was thinking about this yesterday, and uh… I know that you have no idea what I look like, but...will you um-ya know, uh...will you go out with me?” The nervousness is tangible in Frank’s voice. Gerard’s head snapped up, a blush sneaking its way onto his face. Slowly, he reached up with both hands, feeling for Frank’s face. He felt the shape of Franks cheeks and brushed his thumb over Frank’s soft, smooth lips. He gently felt over his lightly shut eyelids. Lastly, he felt down his helper’s nose before leaning forward and kissing it. Suddenly though, he frowns. “Frank, I-I really like you. But I just don’t know you well enough yet. Also, I have no idea what you like.” He feels Frank pull away.  
“No-no Frank-I want you. Just wait until I can see, then ask me again, ok?”  
“Why? If you want me now, and I want you now, then why the hell can’t we be together now?” Gerard can hear the sadness thickening and clogging up his voice. “Please try to understand. I just can’t do this right now.” Frank stands up and Gerard catches his hand. Frank just jerks away, and Gerard hears him stomp away to his room.  
***


	2. Restless Heart Syndrome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some more plot buildup! tw for more abuse mentions. please comment-feedback is always welcome!!  
> tumblr: alienthusiast
> 
> THIS IS A RE-UPLOAD!!! THIS WORK HAS BEEN EDITED!!!!  
> chapter title is a Green Day song

Gerard smiled as he felt Frank walk towards him. He held his arms out, silently asking for a hug and kiss (and maybe something more) but what he got was a sharp slap, right across the face. He gasped and shrank away from Frank. “Gee?” Frank said. Gerard flinched and felt Frank punch his stomach. At the pain, his eyes snapped open, and he kicked around his bed, gasping fearfully. “Gee? Gee-are you okay?” Frank asked from Gerard’s left. Gerard started at his voice before completely breaking down. “Gee...what happened?” Frank asked, quickly clambering into the bed and stroking Gerard’s hair. It took Gerard a while to calm down and tell Frank the nightmare he had just had. He was pretty sure that Frank would be mad, but he had been wrong about his emotions before.  
Frank, thank fuck, didn’t get mad. “Aww, Gee, I’m so sorry. You know I would never do that, right?”  
Gerard nodded, sniffling a little. He wrapped his arms around Frank, who lay down beside him and ran his hands comfortingly up and down his back.  
“Gee? I’m so sorry that I acted so childish earlier.”  
“It’s okay. I get it.”  
“Goodnight, Gee.” Frank murmured into Gerard’s hair. They fell asleep like that, curled up together under sheets and blankets and each other’s arms. 

 

A few days later, Frank and Gerard sat in the living room watching the news. Well, Frank watched the news. Gerard just listened contently and drank his coffee. The newscaster was talking about a robbery or something, her bland voice not capturing Gerard’s attention until-  
“Meanwhile, the Medical Inventors have announced that their new contact lenses have been completed and will be released to the public in no more than one month. They will give perfect sight to those who are blind or have some other eye condition, such as glaucoma.”  
Gerard choked on his coffee. He couldn’t believe it. He would be able to see! In one month!! He felt Frank’s eyes on his face, and the biggest grin crossed his face. Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard and hugged him, swearing excitedly the whole time.  
The butterflies in Gerard’s stomach were going 100 miles an hour, matching the elation he felt. Seeing!! He could see himself, his brother, Frank, his mom, Frank, the house, and Frank!  
Suddenly, Gerard felt all his excitement leave him as a thought crossed his mind.  
“Frank...when I can see, does that mean that you’re going to leave?”  
Frank stilled against him, then smiled and said “Not unless you want me to.” Gerard sighed in relief and tightened his grip around Frank.  
***  
The month passed slowly, as waiting often does. Gerard was counting down every day, keeping track in his head.  
In contrast to time’s slow passing, he almost feels like he and Frank are moving too fast. They’ve established that they’re not in an official relationship yet.  
“Frank?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I know we’re not technically together, but I still feel like we’re going too quickly.” After a pause, Frank says “What do you mean?”  
“I mean, we keep doing this thing where we like, hug, but until I can see, I’m still your job, not your boyfriend.” It makes him feel physically sick, saying that last part. Still, he says it firmly.  
He feels Frank leave the room.  
***  
That night in bed, Gerard breathed evenly, trying to calm himself like he had been trying to do all day. He had tried everything he knew to try: music, a hot shower, jerking off in said shower, more music, drinking lots of water. But nothing worked. At the same time though, it was an excited kind of anxiety. He felt good. Relieved. Protected.  
He couldn’t believe that it had only been a week into the one month of waiting for the lenses. It felt like it had been years. But that’s what waiting does to people. It lengthens the time until you’re ready for something that you desperately want.  
***  
Precisely three days before the lenses were to be released, a delay was announced. Some sort of major error had occurred while the final products were being manufactured, and some poor blind person had actually lost an eye due to the burning effect the lense had had on her eye. Gerard didn’t know what they could have put in a fucking contact lense that would cause a burn to the eye; all he knew was that he now had four more months to wait.  
When he got the disappointing news, he stormed into his room, stubbing his toes several times on the way there and not caring, hardly even he feeling it-he was so fucking angry! Three days! He had had three fucking days. Now he had well over thirty.  
He stopped bothering counting down the days, he was too angry and sad to care. The delay was the seed of depression, and it grew quickly in Gerard’s mind. Aided by the awkwardness and tension between himself and Frank and the lingering sadness about Lindsey that never seemed to leave his head, Depression grew and grew and he tried to stop it with shallow cuts on his arms and legs. Gerard didn’t know just how long this would last, with he and Frank trying to pull through without reaching the breaking point. 

 

“Okay. Thanks Mikes. You’re the best.” Gerard said into the phone. “Hey Frank?” he called.  
“Yeah? What’s up?” Frank asked.  
“Mikey’s gonna pick me up in about twenty minutes; I’m spending the weekend with him, so you’ll have the house to yourself for a couple days.”  
“Cool! Yeah, that um. Um. That sounds fun! I hope you uh...have a great time.” Frank said, way too happy to be genuine. Lost in excitement, Gerard barely noticed. Mikey rarely had time off school. He started walking to his room to pack before realizing that he kind of really needed help getting a bag. When he asked Frank, his helper agreed, surprised. Like he hadn’t realized that Gerard was talking to him or something.  
They got a bag together fairly quickly, then waited in the living room, awkward silence draped over them. Finally, finally, the doorbell rang. Frank let Mikey in and they exchanged friendly hellos. Gerard hugged his younger brother, then grabbed his bag, said goodbye, and was out the door.  
***  
Mikey’s apartment was small, but Gerard loved it there. It always smelled good, and there was an ever-present sense of coziness. It was like a second home, and he knew his way around just as well as his own.  
As always on these rare visits, Mikey let Gerard have the bedroom. He would protest, but the last time he had slept on the couch, he fell in the middle of the night and had a panic attack because he couldn’t figure out where he was. After that, he accepted the bed.  
They had a late supper with The Misfits for music, and finally went to bed around twelve.  
***  
Over pancakes the next morning, Gerard told Mikey all about his situation with Frank. Mikey would know what to do. He always did.  
“Gee...don’t feel bad about it okay?” Mikey said calmly. “You’re ready when you’re ready, you know? It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault.”  
Gerard just nodded. Mikey continued.  
“Just for the record though...you’re like-you’re doing okay right now, right?”  
It was Mikey’s way of asking if Gerard was cutting himself again. Gerard lied with a nod and a smile.  
***  
When Gerard got back on Monday, Frank was in the shower, so Mikey helped him unpack, then hugged him goodbye. The weekend had been great; they had gotten breakfast at a little cafe that made really good coffee, hung out at a local music shop, and met up with Pete to just all take a walk together. He felt relaxed and happy. He hadn’t realized how much he missed that feeling.  
***  
Frank was coughing a lot while they ate dinner. When he first got out of the shower, it hadn’t been too bad, but now he could hardly take a bite of the pasta he had made. Gerard was worried. Despite all the awkwardness in the house, he still cared about Frank. He didn’t know what to do now that Frank was sick again. He was fairly susceptible to colds and such, but this was worse than the others.  
After two minutes of non-stop coughing, Gerard set down his fork and reached out to grab Frank’s arm. He helped him stand, putting an arm around his shaking shoulders, and helped him to his room. Deciding he should probably stay, Gerard left the room briefly to change into pajamas and to allow Frank to do the same. On his way back, he stopped in the kitchen and carefully filled a glass with water for Frank.  
Just like last time, he slept in the recliner, Frank’s sniffles and coughs carrying through the night.  
***  
He wasn’t any better the next day. Gerard did his best to take care of him, refilling his glass and making him toast, but he felt so inadequate. Fucking eyes.  
Gerard sat on the bed next to Frank. He was still coughing, and, if possible, it was getting worse. Between coughs, he asked Gerard to talk to him as a distraction. Gerard winced at how hoarse his throat was, then just started...talking.  
He told Frank pretty much everything; stories from when he was a kid, his passions and hobbies, how music had pretty much saved him when he was a teenager, how-  
“Gerard.”  
It could hardly be considered a croak, it was just a notch above a whisper. Light fingers brushed his arm, and it stung a little from the cuts. Shit-the cuts! Gerard hurriedly pulled his sleeve down from where it had risen slightly, but he knew it was too late. Frank had already seen. He started to cry softly, overwhelmed by his cough and the thought that Gerard was hurting that much.  
Gerard tried to soothe his helper, whispering assurances to him, insisting that he was okay, but Frank kept crying. “Shhhh…” Gerard whispered into Frank’s ear, sliding an arm around him and pulling him close, unable to take the awkward days anymore. He wasn’t ready for anything more than friendship until he could see, but he didn’t want Frank to slip away.  
Eventually, Frank stopped crying, and soon after, fell asleep, curled into Gerard’s side. It didn’t take long for the blind man to follow suit, sighing softly as he slipped into a realm devoid of bitter reality.  
***


End file.
